We don’t always realize it but it is often in very very small moments that people decide whether they like us or whether they don’t and that is why in this article I want to give you 10 simple ways to make people like you instantly without trying to please anyone.
“Connecting with other people is essential for our survival as humans”
“In the bygones, humans were inherently more respectful of one another and devoted more time to the niceties of getting to know each other and exploring common ground. In this age of hustle and bustle, however, we simply rush about minding our businesses and focusing solely on ourselves. We now find it hard to take the time to establish meaningful connections with others.
The truth is, no one can live a quality life in isolation; we need other people to survive. Our personal growth and evolution are highly dependent on how well we connect with our fellow humans.”
“Other people are our greatest resource in life; without them, we simply cannot exist.”
“As a species, we are social animals wired to create connections with one another. We are instinctively driven to come together and form groups of friends, associations, and communities. Thousands of years ago, connecting is what our ancestors were doing when they gathered around the fire to eat woolly mammoth steaks or stitch animal hides together for clothing.”
“Connecting with other people brings infinite rewards.”
“According to Nicholas Boothman, one of the benefits of creating meaningful connections with others is longevity. When you make connections, your entire being, especially your brain, grows and flourishes. Studies have shown that people who stay socially and physically active have longer life spans.
However, being socially active doesn’t mean hanging out with the same old crowd and peddling around on an exercise bike. It means getting out and making new friends. When you put yourself out there and make new connections in the outside world, you also make new connections in the inside world — in your brain. This keeps you young and alert.”
“Building relationships with others makes us feel safe and does our community a lot of good”
“If people like you, they feel natural and comfortable around you.” Nicholas Boothman.
“When we are connected as a community, we look out for one another and provide strength and safety for one another. And when we feel strong and safe, put our energy into evolving socially, culturally and spiritually”
“We, humans, benefit from each other emotionally. None of us is a closed self-regulating system. Instead, we are open loops regulated, disciplined, encouraged, criticized, supported, and validated by the emotional feedback we get from others.
From time to time, we meet someone who influences our emotions and vital body rhythms in such a pleasurable way that we call it love. Be it through body language, gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice or words alone, other people make our hard times more bearable, our good times much sweeter.
When you learn how to make fast, meaningful connections with people, you will improve your relationships at work and even at home. You will also discover the enjoyment of being able to approach anyone with confidence and sincerity.”
“Your likeability has very little to do with how good looking you are.”
“Whether or not people will find you likable, it is highly dependent on how well you are able to connect with others. Likable people generally give loud and clear signals of their willingness to be sociable; they reveal that their public communication channels are open. In the coming chapters, we will discuss the techniques of making natural connections with other people.”
Here’s a few to cultivate.
1. Ask questions.
You want people to naturally like you? Then ask them reasonable questions.
I’ve noticed students who ask questions in class are often well-liked by their teachers. Just so it is in the open world, It’s human nature to be helpful and we all have a great desire to share what we know.
When someone appears to need our help, we tend to like them more because it shows they trust and believe in us.
2. Talk less, Listen More, and Speak more.
You won’t be liked if you’re talk too much. Infact, people don’t like talkatives.
There’s a difference between talking and speaking; Talking is more like striking a conversation (2 ways) while Speaking comes from the noun speech, which often means relaying information. When you speak, you’re more formal and informative.
Another best trait a human can have is the ability to listen more; People will always be around you when you’re a good listener. Infact, listening is the best communication skill a person can have.
People want someone who can listen to their problems, hear their pains and speak kind comforting words to make them feel safe.
So by listening rather than talking, you are giving something valuable to the person who’s speaking. Especially if you really are taking in what that person is saying and not thinking about something else. The speaker will appreciate that gift and you will have created a bond. He or she will feel understood and validated.
You just earn yourself a like!
3. Give your time…gratis.
A no-strings-attached approach to helping others also makes you more likable. Think of the person you like the most–usually, it’s someone who will help you with the copier machine or is willing to read through your business proposal in a pinch. Of course, those who help just to be liked always reveal a manipulative trait, so make sure you’re genuine.
4. Listen better.
I mentioned how talkers tend to be more likable, and that’s true. Sometimes, over-communicating puts people at ease. But it’s also important to pause once in a while and listen. Good communicators take a breath once in a while! Likable people are always listeners who are curious to (genuinely) learn new things. The best communicators talk and talk–and then listen for a response. That makes them an office favorite.
5. Really and truly care.
How do you develop the personality trait of caring? It can be difficult, especially in an age of social media where everyone is dangerously close to being a narcissist. Caring is an act of setting aside your own interests and ambitions for a while and helping others. It requires effort. You have to consciously decide you are going to care about someone else. When you do, and you are genuine about it, you’ll find that more people will like you.
6. Admit it, you don’t know everything.
We all know how important it is to steer clear of the office know-it-all. Why is that? Part of the reason is we know that person won’t ask for our help, and we like to be helpful. More importantly, those who have all of the answers are usually pushing their own agenda. In their conceited attitude, they exhibit a sense of pride that’s not attractive to anyone.
7. Go for the laugh, every time.
It’s hard to hate a jokester or someone who has a carefree approach to life. Usually, the most-liked people are those that can fill a room with laughter. It might not be in your nature to joke around, and that’s okay. Just make sure you are ready to see the humor in something. Be someone who can laugh easily and smile often. You’ll win people over.
8. Lighten up.
I will admit to struggling with this one. I’m a serious person with serious concerns! (Most of the time.) But it’s better to see the big picture in life. Really serious people are essentially acting selfish because they focus too much on their personal issues. Highly likable people at work are those who can set aside their concerns and go with the flow. They’re selfless.
9. Don’t be pushy.
Here’s an interesting one–and difficult trait to master. I went on a road trip with someone a few years ago, and I remember how he told me he doesn’t have highly distinct tastes. What does that really mean? For starters, he’s not that selfish and won’t push his preferences–he’ll go to lunch at any restaurant and listen to any form of music. He’s flexible. That makes him likable because he will adjust to the situation.
10. Admit your weaknesses.
That character on the show Mind Games is right: Admitting weaknesses makes you more likable. People figure them out on their own anyway. Of course, it’s important not to act like a victim or share your problems with everyone you meet. At work, it’s okay to go into a meeting and lead with the challenges you face. People are more likely to suggest a few solutions, come to your aid, and even pat you on the back.
Finally, Here’s a quick recap of my 10 simple ways to make people like you instantly:
- Ask questions.
- Talk Less, Listen More, and Speak more.
- Give your time…gratis.
- Listen better.
- Really and truly care.
- Admit it, you don’t know everything.
- Go for the laugh, every time.
- Lighten up.
- Don’t be pushy.
- Admit your weaknesses.